A Disturbing Phenomenon: Why is Male Abuse Okay?

I have noticed something very peculiar in media for the past few years. It’s been on my mind a while, but now it’s got itself stuck in there and won’t let go. It’s a sign of something that, I feel, is very wrong in today’s entertainment. I don’t know if this will be a thing of interest for you all, and it may likely be something many of you disagree with, but I’ll say it anyway. In popular media, it appears that abuse is okay when it’s a woman abusing a man.

Films, television shows and other such things commonly show men abusing women as horrible people. This is good, because abuse is a terrible thing. The kicker is that the opposite quite often does not appear to be true. It’s played up for laughs. Like in Pirates of the Carribean, Jack Sparrow is slapped repeatedly by various different women.

Or what about Raymond and Debra’s relationship in Everybody Loves Raymond? The man is constantly abused verbally, and sometimes physically, for the most minor of mistakes. In one episode (Bad Moon Rising) he called her out on this. She responded by pushing him into a bookshelf. It also occurs quite often in Desperate Housewives. The pinnacle here, in my opinion, is when Carlos tricks Gabby into revealing that she’s trying to manipulate him out of his money after she discovers he is about to land a high paying job. She then pushes him out the upstairs window. The closing narration paints Carlos as the one at fault, and that he is regrets tricking her.

It’s not just Western entertainment, either. Here is an excellent example. In Japan there is a popular graphic novel and anime called Ranma 1/2. The main character, Ranma Saotome, is admittedly a man without tact or social graces. He is constantly being hounded and abused by several of the female cast for this and for a situation beyond his control his father placed him in.

For more examples, please go here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale

If a man was seen doing stuff like this, it would be to show that he’s an asshole at best and a monster at worst. But when a woman does it to a man, it’s done for comedy. You’re supposed to laugh. Why? Why is there this, rather blatant, double standard? It’s often played that the man deserves it somehow. Perhaps sometimes he does, like when Jack was slapped because he stole a ship, but men cannot possibly be deserving of such abuse all the time. And it isn’t just in entertainment. A report run by ABC shows that many people honestly do not find verbal and physical attacks on a man to be abusive.

Perhaps the reason for all this is because, on average, men are stronger than women. Perhaps because of this there is an idea that men cannot be seriously hurt by women. This might lead to the assumption that all abuse is directed from male to female. This is a very dangerous, and false, line of thought. What do you all think?

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6 Responses to A Disturbing Phenomenon: Why is Male Abuse Okay?

  1. Lance Burkett says:

    I’ve never noticed this before. “This might lead to the assumption that all abuse is directed from male to female.” I reckon this is it. In the olden uncivilized ages women were abused on a common basis. Apparently the reason (more like excuse) for the treatment of women back then, was that Eve was responsible for paradise lost.

    This assumption was probably generated as a response to the second-class treatment of women. An assumption that has lifted women above the risk of physical abuse.

    • josephspace says:

      So it’s a knee jerk reaction, then? I certainly hope so. I’m also hoping it’s dispelled at some point in my lifetime. Abuse is abuse. It doesn’t restrict itself to gender.

  2. John says:

    it seems to me everyone is missing an important element to abuse, and that is the bullying that is going on. It would appear that EVERYONE endorses bullying by a woman, but bullying by a man is wrong. Even one hit is questionable, suppose the skit involved him ending up lying on the park ground , feigning unconscious? As it is, the one woman was cheering on bullying the man, would she have cheered more if he fell on the grond with fake blood? Or would she have maybe stated a different stance, that maybe,just maybe a line was crossed? What a good experiment. What if he had put up just one hit? What if he begged loudly for her to stop hitting she was hurting him? What an eye-opener.

  3. John says:

    Be careful that some girl might find your truth telling a little too revealing, and you find your comment censored, John. Someone could bully your comment right out of existence!!! Your comment could be construed as misogynist, and they can bully that away from us. Come on, wake up!!! Can’t you find a better way to get the truth out? I’m ribbing you because I agree with you sooooo much. Take a look at Christy Clark, for example. She bullies men around, and then, on the drop of a dime, she stands up for bullying against a girl, and gets a whole campaign going!!!! Hypocrite or what! She did, after all, shove her husband out the door, bragging that she could make a man of her son all by herself!! And when asked about men’s rights, her answer was that dog’s rights were a priority to her. And, let’s not forget the NDP, with their women-only leader policy! I disagree with Josephspace, the move has been on for sometime, to have the market on gender-based abuse and bullying, and we men are turning our eyes away. And what about the schools, where we are the victims dropping out. Why are we dropping out? Could it be they are not pretty enough, or they did not succumb to bullying by the teacher or the girls? Or one girl covets that one guy……….in the end he gets the abuse because he did not cave in to bullying. Some more bullying? Here’s one….when women actually teat you like a human being, you have to wonder if they expect you to turn your hormones on then, because hey, once you are in, you will do anything to keep in, right? Or else, you will be tossed to the curb with the other homeless men that society kicks because wmoen want them to. You are soooooo correct, this is all about women wanting and doing bullying and abuse at wanton pleasure. Here’s a trick that will help you decipher a bulloy female from a non-bully………do your own laundry, do your own ooking and cleaning after yourself. See how many women scorn you, and put you down. But, see also how many of them whine that you don’t NEED them for anything if you take care of yourself……..as if they want to hold the corner market on your ability to care for yourself. With all the dads getting booted out of homes, young boys have no protection whatsoever against sexual bullying. We are victims now, and all that womanhood wants to say is that if a woman hits us, we must have deserved it. As if to say, woman can hit but men cannot, and further, what if the male did nothing wrong? We ARE bullied, everyone is pussyfooting around the truth because they are afraid of the consequences (typical in bullying and abuse scenarios). What I do not get, is why femalehood is trumpeting anti-bullying, when they are by far the biggest bullies of all?

  4. Arianwen says:

    ^ Perfect example of a self-defeating rant.

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